The Dreadful Story of Sasori & the Stolen Bananas
by Ada Kensington
Summary: Hyuuga Neji, psychiatrist extraordinaire, has a little trouble with one of his patients...


The Dreadful Story of Sasori and the Stolen Bananas

Hors d'Oeuvre

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AN: This will make so much more sense if you've read 'A Day in the Life'. You don't have to have read it, but it might help.

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Otogakure National Police Headquarters

54 Ryuzu Street

New Rice Quarter

Otogakure

57-008

December 13th

MISSING PERSON REPORT

Hello.

My name is Deidara, and my colleague, Sasori, is missing.

As per your request the other day on the telephone, I would like to formally confirm the status of my colleague as missing. I cannot tell you exactly how long it has been since I last saw him, as I have been very drunk for the past few days, but we might have left for Oro's party on the 11th (or maybe the 10th, I'll get back to you on that). By Oro, I mean Orochimaru, formerly of the Akatsuki Group and now the managing director of Otogakure-Enterprises. You know. The pale guy with the weird eyes and the long black hair who's never out the papers?

ANywway, Orochimaru invited my colleague and I to his Christmas party at his big house in Otogakure. Due to circumstances beyond my control, Sasori and I became separated. During this time, I sustained injuries to my head, having been thrown down a flight of stairs by the host, and I left the premises in the care of a qualified medical doctor, with whom I spent the rest of the night and part of the next morning in a motel having sexual intercourse. I tried to contact my colleague a number of times while I was at the motel in order to ask him to come join us, but he never did.

I have not seen him since.

As per your request, I will supply information on my colleague, Sasori, in order to facilitate your search. He isn't tall – around my height – and he has short, dark red hair. He is of slim build and weighs around 130lbs. He has pale skin and his eyes are brownish greyish green. Mostly brownish. I am sorry if that's vague, but his eyes change colour depending on what he's had to drink. Perhaps you could say their colour is hazel. When I last saw him, he was wearing a long, black coat with a high collar and red clouds on it. He had purple nail polish on and is probably wearing eyeliner. I cannot remember what shoes he was wearing, although I don't think it will be his pair of Converse trainers, because he only wears them when he's in the office. Oh, and he was wearing a straw hat with a bell on it.

I have supplied Sasori's Oral-B toothbrush (sky blue and white, soft head, with tongue cleaner on the back) in case you need to take swabs or anything for forensic testing.

Enclosed are contact details of friends, colleagues and relatives with whom you may wish to get in touch.

Thanking you in anticipation of your co-operation,

Deidara.

Akatsuki Group Plc.

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Otogakure Infirmary

MILD INJURY REPORT

Name of patient: Hoozuki Suigetsu

Age: 17

Height: 5'10

Weight: 140lbs

Blood type: O

Occupation: Director of Human Resources, Otogakure Enterprises.

Medical Insurance: Yes.

Injury sustained: hairline fracture of the right zygomatic arch.

Diagnosis: coronal and axial CT scan.

Treatment: ketorolac tromethamine, administered orally; patient has been advised to purchase codeine tablets to reduce further pain and/or swelling.

Extra information: patient should report to outpatients' department in three weeks' time for a check-up.

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Oto Shipping and Haulage Ltd.

Unit 78-89

Old Rice Industrial Park

Old Rice Quarter

OTOGAKURE

32-090

12th December 2007

REF: Policy number - Ydky/15/584-903-849-771

Dear Matsuri-san,

Further to our telephone conversation, I have enclosed the completed claim form with regards to our vehicle and contents theft claim.

As discussed with you on the phone, I am now writing on the behalf of Oto Shipping and Haulage Ltd. to recover the costs or equivalent replacement of one truck (model: Mercedes Benz Actros, further information and vehicle documents enclosed) and the value of two-hundred and forty crates of Cavendish bananas (estimated to be worth around ¥950,000).

If you require any additional information, please do not hesitate to contact me on 0796 xxx xxxx.

Yours,

Fuuma Sasame

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Mizuki-san

Flat 3/4, 22nd St.

Old Rice Quarter

Otogakure

31-847

Dear Fuuma-san,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Section 3 of the accident report form.

My name is Mizuki, and I am a long-distance vehicle driver by occupation. The company I work for, Oto Shipping and Haulage Ltd., have clients in the banana trade, and I belong to a fleet which transports Cavendish bananas from the big depot in Suna, where the bananas are grown, to the depot here in Otogakure, in which they are sorted, inspected and then transported to local supermarkets. The route I take from Suna to Otogakure is quite long, usually taking me five days to drive from A to B. From Suna, I travel through River Country, then Konoha, then Otogakure.

Naturally, I have to take breaks during the journey. At some point during the time I spent at the rest stop on the border of Wind and Fire Country, I believe the man who later ambushed me and made off with my truck and its contents found a way to climb inside. It takes almost another three days to drive from there to the depot, and when I stopped to refuel just before I reached the depot, I still had no idea that the man was inside. I believe he must have survived by eating the bananas. Upon reaching the Otogakure depot, I exited the truck and the inspector came round with his clipboard and asked me to open the roller door.

No sooner had we done this, than a pale young man with red hair and wild eyes leapt out of the hold and attacked us. Having knocked me to the floor by punching me in the face, he turned around and kicked the inspector very hard in his groinal area, so much so that the inspector promptly collapsed to the ground, rolling around and moaning. The young man then muttered, in a pronounced Suna accent, "I don't even like bananas," before he climbed into the cabin, turned the keys which I had left in the ignition (not expecting an attack), and sped away.

I contacted the police as soon as I was able and gave them a physical description. They are now focusing their enquiries in the vicinity of Sunagakure, as the attacker's physical description and accent marks him out as being from that area of the country.

I hope this answers your enquiry.

Mizuki.

Oto Shipping and Haulage Ltd.

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From: Uchiha Sasuke

To: Sgt. Shiin

Subject: Re: Security Issue

I am very grateful for your quick response, Sergeant Shiin. I shall let Orochimaru-sama know that you have authorised the use of man traps in neutralising the security breach at the compound. Hopefully, this will resolve the problem.

Kind regards,

Uchiha Sasuke.

Otogakure-Enterprises

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The Dreadful Story of Sasori and the Stolen Bananas

The Main Course

Hyuuga Neji, psychiatrist extraordinaire, knocked back the last few drops of his now stone-cold black coffee and crushed the Starbucks cup absently in his fist, tossing it in a nearby bin as he passed in haste, hurrying to get back to the office. He had accidentally taken a long lunch; an accidental occurrence because he had not planned on becoming so absorbed in the Konoha Times ¥20,000 prize crossword that time, structure and routine would come to cease to exist. Unfortunately, it had happened, and because he became slightly obsessed with getting twenty-one across (seven letters: uses all vowels in the English language) he was running late for his four-thirty appointment.

Under normal circumstances, this would not have bothered him. If he was late, he would simply have chalked it up to fate, waltzed into the office and apologised to his patient in an insincere manner before whipping out his clipboard and sitting back in his executive, leather swivel chair to wait for the inevitable flood of neuroses to wash over him. All part of the daily routine, but something that had to be done.

Hyuuga Neji was a good psychiatrist. No, he was an _exceptional_ psychiatrist; young, gifted and emotionally astute, though not given to emotion himself. He took pride in his considerable ability to delve into the hearts and minds of others in order to see what they truly felt. He loved to analyse, classify and observe human beings to find out what twisted secrets lay within. He delighted in teasing secrets out of people, bit by bit, until their souls lay exposed and until _they_ lay flat out on the couch – usually weeping copiously, though, he told himself, that was all part of the healing process.

Hyuuga Neji was a good psychiatrist, and that was why Konoha-Suna Corporation had offered him a excellent position at the company. He worked nine-to-five (on paper at least), had weekends off, earned a nice little salary, drove a fine company car, and was able to afford two holidays to the Suna coast a year. All he had to do in exchange was listen to people's problems and find a way to exorcise their mental demons. Usually, this was old hat to Hyuuga Neji, psychiatrist extraordinaire. However, there was the one patient who managed to slip his grasp, who continued to elude him week after week – the one real, unadulterated nutter who did not appear to have any real problems, so to speak, apart from being a raging mentalist with a penchant for punctuality.

Neji sighed as he slipped in through the revolving door of the glass-fronted Konoha-Suna headquarters, ignoring the cheerful good-afternoons of the receptionists at the desk. Punching the tenth floor button on the elevator, he rocked back and forth on his heels in trepidation as he tried to recall the battle plan for his four-thirty. The doors slid open and colleagues filed out – mostly faces he did not recognise – and he stepped in. But when the doors closed, he began to panic as he realised there was no battle plan. What on earth was he to do? This patient wasn't like all the others; he couldn't just sit back and wait for him to speak, as he never bloody well did! Trying to get his four-thirty to open up was like pulling teeth. Sometimes the whole half-hour would go by and neither of them would have said a word to one another.

"_Tenth-floor,"_ the tinny, disembodied, pre-recorded female voice announced. _"Please mind your step."_

When the elevator doors closed behind him, Neji knew he was at the point of no return, as Hanabi was peering round the door at the other end of the corridor with a ridiculous grin on her face.

"Hey, Neji-chan! Your four-thirty's here and he's waiting in your office."

Neji repressed the urge to sprint along the corridor and throttle his idiot little cousin until her face turned an attractive shade of puce. No matter if he owed his uncle a favour – being forced to hire Hanabi as a secretary had been hell on earth! The insufferable brat had absolutely no respect. She continually addressed him as "Neji-chan" in front of patients, always forgot to take down messages, was always chatting to her friends on her cellphone when she thought he couldn't hear, and, worst of all, she knew how much he hated his four-thirty on Thursday and never let him forget it.

"What is he doing in my office?" he said through gritted teeth, as he removed his overcoat and hung it up on the rack.

"Well, you're five minutes late," Hanabi said loftily, handing him the patient's file, "so he decided he'd wait for you in your office. Don't look at me like that!" she added, outraged, as Neji rolled his eyes in disgust. "I don't get paid enough to deal with crap like that, so I wasn't going to stop him."

Oh god, he wanted so badly to shut her up. Just one spectacular loss of temper would do it – perhaps coupled with tipping over plant pots or throwing crockery – that would be all it took to send her running for cover. But Neji didn't even have time for that. His four-thirty beckoned, and he could not afford to waste another minute.

"I'll deal with you later," he hissed, as he swept off towards his office and wrenched the door open with a little more force than was strictly necessary.

Inside, his four-thirty was indeed waiting for him, sitting on the wide window ledge with his knees drawn up to his chest, staring outside and smoking a cigarette. As well as being characteristically rude – smoking in his office without permission or an ashtray – he had also moved all the potted plants from the ledge and had sat them in a little circle on the floor in the corner of the room. He took a drag on his cigarette and exhaled as he turned to observe Neji with impassive eyes.

"I will sit here today," he said. It was not a request.

"That's fine, Sasori-san," Neji said, attempting to calm himself down and let the consummate professional come to the fore. "You may sit anywhere that makes you feel comfortable – that is what this process is all about. And I apologise for my tardiness. I am afraid I forgot the time. I became rather absorbed in solving a crossword problem: seven letters, uses all vowels in the English language."

Sasori did not answer straight away, preferring, as he always did, to let the moment linger on a knife edge. Just as Neji sighed inwardly, fearing that this session was going to be another one of those silent wastes of time, Sasori turned his cold eyes upon him and said, "You look a little hot and bothered, Hyuuga-sensei. Is there something wrong?"

Oh how he hated it when Sasori-san tried to turn the focus on him. Lots of his patients tried, to be sure, with varying degrees of subtlety and success, but no other attempts unnerved him like those of his Thursday, four-thirty patient. Was it the smoking? Or was it the way the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly when he said it, making him look as though something dreadful had amused him? Whatever it was, Neji knew he had to put a stop to it and get on with matters. He consoled himself with the thought that least it wasn't going to be half an hour of excruciating silence.

"There's nothing wrong, Sasori-san," he replied, folding his hands in his lap and sitting back in his chair. "I'm feeling quite alright, thank you for asking. Now, is there anything in particular you would like to talk about this week?"

Smoke curled from Sasori's nostrils, and he smiled that odd smile again. "She irritates you, doesn't she?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your little secretary, Hanabi-san. She shows you no respect. She let me into your office without much provocation at all. All I had to do was ask."

The words echoed like a mantra in his head: _Do not let him get to you. Do not let him get to you. Do not let him get to you..._

"Hanabi is only just out of school and has yet to decide upon which university she shall attend," Neji said, as smoothly as he was able. "She wishes to study psychology, and I have agreed to arrange work experience for her. She is not yet trained to deal with my patients, and I advised her to co-operate fully with the demands of my patients, should I not be present, in case any complications arise."

He did not mean to put it like that; such a barely-veiled insult could have seen the termination of a very lucrative private contract. But his patient merely smiled, shrugged and took another drag of his cigarette. No repercussions, as of yet. Neji took a deep breath and forced himself to be civil.

"Now, Sasori-san," he said, in his perfectly polished psychiatrist's tone – calm, clear and insincerely cheerful, "is there anything you would like to talk about?"

Nothing. Sasori continued to smoke and stare out of the window.

"Did you get up to anything interesting this week?" he asked, trying a different angle in hope of a result.

A few seconds passed, during which Sasori's brow rumpled in thought. Then, without looking at Neji, he answered, "Yes."

"Anything nice?"

"I hijacked a banana truck in Otogakure and drove it back to River country."

This was a new one, even to Hyuuga Neji – psychiatrist extraordinaire. For the briefest of moments, his mask slipped and he felt his mouth fall open in shock, but he reined himself in just as quickly, and thus managed a passable attempt at nonchalance.

"Indeed?" he mused, while writing 'please god, get me out of here in one piece' on his clipboard in blue biro. "And what caused you to take that course of action, Sasori-san?"

Sasori shrugged and stubbed the end of his cigarette out on Neji's clean windowsill, an action which made the psychiatrist's eye twitch ever so slightly. "The driver was going the wrong way," he replied matter-of-factly. "I'd just walked all the way to the Otogakure border from Oro's party and he was taking me straight back in again. I had to get to River country because we were going to stay with granny for Christmas and I had to catch the plane."

"So you hijacked the truck?" Neji said in a monotone.

Sasori dipped into the folds of his robes and extracted a pack of Benson and Hedges, found his lighter and lit another cigarette. "Not at first," he replied, cigarette balanced between his teeth while he sparked up. "I jumped in the back with the bananas for some of the way, which was awful, because I really hate bananas. Disgusting things. The smell, the taste, the texture – that you can slip on the skin. Hidan sometimes has them mushed up on toast and I cannot be in the same room as him when he's having a snack—"

"So, wait... forgive me, Sasori-san," Neji interrupted, a shade bamboozled by his client's slightly disjointed thought processes. "Why were you walking to the Otogakure border in the first place? What were you doing there? It's the middle of winter, and you know how cold it gets up there. That could have been very dangerous."

"Oh," Sasori said, taking another puff. "I was at Oro's Christmas party and I got lost in the attic."

Neji pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "I was at Oro's Christmas party and I got lost in the attic." As if that explained everything.

"And I took a couple of amphetamines every so often when I was walking, so I didn't really feel the cold much at all," he added, with a thoughtful look on his face. "Fortunate that I bought them, was it not?"

"Now, Sasori-san," Neji admonished, "that could have been even more dangerous than the cold itself. I have told you again and again about the dangers of taking recreational drugs while on a course of anti-psychotics—"

"They weren't recreational," Sasori replied impatiently. "They were prescribed—"

"For whom?" Neji interrupted, his head cocked to one side in an indignant manner.

"— for Deidara. But they were still prescribed, and I even read the recommended dosage before taking any."

Neji shook his head. As far as Sasori was concerned, that seemed to be the end of that particular line of conversation. He had taken to staring out of the window once again, letting his cigarette burn down, wisps of smoke rising into the air and filling Neji's office with the musty, sour funk of tobacco. Neji wrinkled his nose and wrote down on his clipboard, 'Reminder: open window and get Hanabi to rearrange the pot plants.'

"Well, let us veer away from recrimination, Sasori-san, because that is not why we are here, correct?" Neji said with a smile, attempting to be encouraging.

When Sasori shrugged apathetically, he took this as a sign that his patient was still willing to talk, and he pressed on. "So... Oro's party. I assume when you say 'Oro' that you are referring to Orochimaru-sama of Otogakure enterprises?"

"Yes."

"How wonderful!" Neji exclaimed. "And I assume you and your colleagues were invited to his party?"

"Yes. But only Deidara and I could make it. Itachi and Kisame went over for Christmas, instead. Poor bastards..."

Neji's brow wrinkled in puzzlement. "Poor—? Sasori-san, why would you say such a thing? If my memory serves me correctly, you told me that you worked with him for several years while he was still at the Akatsuki Group? Don't you like Orochimaru-sama?"

"He's a prick," Sasori replied, following this statement up with an unusually forceful exhalation of smoke.

Oh holy mother of... Was this an admission of emotion from the stone cold Sasori, Neji wondered? Suddenly he thrilled at the prospect of maybe – just maybe – actually getting somewhere with the man for a change. Neji decided to take action in the way that only psychologists can. He asked probing questions.

"What is it about him that you don't like, Sasori-san?" Neji ventured, pen and clipboard at the ready.

Sasori shrugged. "I've known him for years, since we were both kids. My gran and his mum and dad were friends, and I sometimes had to go over to his house. The first time I ever met him, he dumped a bucketful of sand down my pants and when I pushed him over, he ran into the house crying and I got in trouble. And he wasn't even hurt. He stuck his tongue out at me when granny was shouting at me. I had sand rash for days afterwards."

"Do go on," Neji said, gleefully taking notes.

God, he loved being a psychiatrist. It was fascinating getting to hear all the sordid little tales of the rich and famous. Especially about Orochimaru-sama. Neji knew the man used to work for Konoha-Suna back in the day before the merger – some of the older staff members still talked about him – and he knew that Uchiha Sasuke had gone to work for him not long ago (and had subsequently ended up in bed with him). But that was the extent of his knowledge. He didn't know why, but Sasori telling him about Orochimaru made him feel party to some sort of odd company secret, or a private members' club, if those were the right words to describe it. Nowadays, the Konoha side of the company were pretty much divided into "those who knew Oro, and those who did not" – the senior members of staff being those who "knew", and the newer employees being those who "did not." Suffice it to say, getting such fantastic gossip on the man from a childhood acquaintance no less made Neji feel, for a few minutes, like he was part of the club.

"Well, I feel that is a rather accurate summation of Oro's general character," Sasori said. "He looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth – but in reality, he's a vindictive, manipulative, ruthless, spoiled brat. I thought he would've went off the rails like everyone else when his parents died." An ugly look passed across Sasori's face as he added, "But what did they do? They only left him an absolute fortune and managed to get hold of a guardian that doted on him. And he wasn't even phased! When my parents died, I was skipping school and spray-painting walls and setting fire to cats. Not Oro. He got top marks at school that year, had two best friends and was round at Sarutobi's for dinner every Sunday. My gran even sent him birthday cards and presents, because she likes him more than she ever liked me..."

"Do you think that is the reason for your problems with Orochimaru-sama? That your grandmother showed affection towards him while you felt somewhat excluded?" Neji asked.

Sasori shrugged. "It's not so much that," he began, taking a thoughtful puff of his cigarette. "I mean, everyone seems to like Oro, despite the fact that he, when all is said and done, is a complete and utter prick. If I could figure out why, then maybe I would feel a little more at ease with him – but I can't. So I hate him."

"Do you have any ideas at all as to what his appeal is?"

Sasori looked pensive for a moment before replying. "It might very well be something to do with charisma, though I grudge the thought of him possessing such a quality. Everyone seems to like Itachi, after all, and that is certainly not down to charisma..."

"Are you sure that everyone likes him?" Neji asked. "I mean, have you never heard anyone speak against him?"

"Oh yes," Sasori replied in that strange, soft voice of his. "So many times that I could not even give you an approximate number. Why, I remember Kakuzu coming into the office one morning after an argument with Oro and he punched a hole in the wall while railing against Oro's insufferable smugness."

"Well, there you go," Neji said in a tone that said 'this solves everything then doesn't it?' "Not everyone likes him."

"Oh but they do, Hyuuga-sensei," Sasori said with an enigmatic smile, "and that is the most infuriating thing. No matter how awfully he treats people, they still insist on making him a part of their lives, they continue to make space for him, will not cut him out. A few hours later, on that day when Kakuzu was so angry with him he destroyed my property, Oro came into the office – and although he made no effort to apologise, he somehow managed to win Kakuzu round, as they walked past my door, laughing themselves silly at a dead baby joke."

"Then if Orochimaru-sama is causing you such emotional stress, would it not be sensible to sit down and work out your problems with him?" Neji suggested. "It might prove a worthwhile endeavour."

"Ha. No, Hyuuga-sensei, I don't think so," Sasori said, his eyes glinting as though the prospect amused him terribly. "Neither of us 'do' that sort of thing – and besides, who said Oro was causing me emotional stress? That's utter nonsense. I hardly ever think about him unless he's in front of my face. I just don't much care for him. That's all."

"Then perhaps you should reconsider attending any parties he might throw, seeing as you ended up hijacking a truck full of bananas while under the influence?"

Sasori smiled and exhaled deeply. "Now why would I do that?" he said, turning to look at Neji and fixing him with his oddly intense gaze. "I like his parties. They're always such fun, and they never run out of drink. I even had a nice conversation with Sasuke-kun in the bathroom over a bottle of vodka. It was merely unfortunate that I managed to become trapped in the attic..."

Then, to Neji's horror, Sasori swung his feet down from the window ledge and extinguished his cigarette on the wall. His head jerked round and the clock on the wall confirmed his fears. It was already five minutes past five.

'_No, no, no, no, no!'_ his mind cried out. _'Don't you dare leave! I don't care if you have an obsessive compulsive mania when it comes to punctuality, if you go now, I swear to you I will not be responsible for my actions! This is interesting, for god's sake!'_

"You don't have to go right now, Sasori-san," he exclaimed, rising from his seat and attempting to block his patient's path to the door of his office. "Really. We seem to be getting somewhere today, and I don't have to be anywhere in particular tonight."

Sasori smiled that strange smile of his and said, gently pushing Neji out of the way, "I do appreciate your new-found enthusiasm, Hyuuga-sensei, but I am afraid I have a flight to catch. We have a meeting with the new investor tomorrow, you see, and I must take time to prepare. Thank you, though, for an unusually stimulating session. I must say I was beginning to lose faith in your ability for a while there, but I think I shall give you a second chance."

By this time, Neji had stopped short in the middle of the floor, his mouth open slightly and his expression a mixture of indignance, shock, and bewilderment. As Sasori made his way to the door, Neji could do nothing but stare with his clipboard dangling forlornly from one hand at his side.

"_... but I think I shall give you a second chance."_

H-How dare he say such a thing? Neji thought. It wasn't his fault that the insufferable bastard had taken three months to open up. Well, what if he didn't want to give him a second chance? What if he had had it up to his eyeballs with Sasori-san? What if the prospect of having another session with him appealed as much as chewing tin foil, and thus merited an instant and unceremonious cancellation of all future appointments, no matter how lucrative the arrangement?

"Oh, Hyuuga-sensei?" Sasori called out over his shoulder, his voice derailing Neji's dark train of thought, making him come crashing back to reality in an instant.

"Hmm? Yes? What is it, Sasori-san?" he said absently, shaking his head as if shaking the clutter from his mind.

"It's sequoia."

"What?"

"Sequoia," Sasori repeated patiently. "Seven letters, uses all vowels in the English language."

"Oh," Neji said weakly. "Right. Thank you, Sasori-san."

"My pleasure," he replied, bowing courteously as Neji did the same, adding, "I will see you next week, Hyuuga-sensei."

Then he turned and walked out of the door, closing it behind him with a quiet click. Neji waited until Sasori's footsteps faded into silence along the corridor before he ran across to his bookshelf, dodging the plant pots, and tore his dictionary from it's place in his well-ordered shelves. He flipped through the pages until he found the words he had been looking for. Then, slowly, casually, he returned to his desk and fished out the copy of the Konoha Times he had bought to read during lunchtime. Picking up his blue biro, he turned to the page that held the ¥20,000 prize crossword and in the seven boxes designated 'twenty-one across, printed the word "SEQUOIA" in neat capitals.

- - - - - -

The Dreadful Story of Sasori and the Stolen Bananas

After Dinner Coffee and Mints

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From: Hoshigaki Kisame "Get Sharky"

To: Gaara "Seeking Serotonin"

Subject: Banana Recipes

Hi Gaara,

I know you're a pretty good cook, so we were wondering whether you have any ideas for recipes involving bananas. Preferably not involving mashed bananas on toast. We have a surplus, you see, and trying to make use of them has become something of a trial.

Thanks!

Kisame and Itachi.

P.S. Itachi would like to know if there are any possible savoury recipes and how long bananas keep for when frozen.

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From: Gaara "Seeking Serotonin"

To: Hoshigaki Kisame "Get Sharky"

Subject: RE: Banana Recipes

Hi guys,

Wow. How many extra bananas do you have, I wonder? Oh well, I can certainly recommend a few sweet recipes off the top of my head: banana bread, caramelised rum and banana pancakes, bananas poached in cider, banoffee pie, banana brulee and banana ice cream are always nice. [I have enclosed the recipes in the attached file.

As for savoury recipes you should take care to use under ripe bananas (they are too sweet if left to fully ripen). I could recommend banana stuffed chicken breasts in curry sauce, savoury banana fritters, a spicy banana chutney (you can make big batches of this at a time) and savoury banana drop scones with cream cheese and chives.

I have kept frozen bananas in a zip-lock bag in the freezer for up to three months. Not sure on the maximum time limit before they'll get frostbite. Though frozen bananas are another good way to eat them – you can cut them in half, push popsicle sticks in the flat end, freeze them overnight and eat them like ice cream the next day.

All those recipe suggestions were probably overkill, you'll never get through them in a million years, but I hope I have answered your questions.

Take care,

Gaara.

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* * *

To everyone who has read, reviewed or favourited 'A Day in the Life', to everyone who has read, reviewed or favourited 'Touch', 'Oro-chan' or 'Karma' - this is for you. It's a triple celebration, as far as I'm concerned: first, for 'A Day in the Life' reaching the 20,000 hits mark, secondly, for the Potential Return of the Great Orochimaru in the manga (I cannot contain my excitement!), and thirdly, because I really want to post something here on a leap year, and now I've done it (even though I said to fiore777 I'd write this ages ago)! Woo and yay and such! 

Oh yeah. Happy birthday to you too, Kabuto, you most excellent crony, you!

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